Personal development: The misconception of being alone

Are you feeling lonely and disconnected with life?  Conversations about being alone and feeling lonely are on the top ten topic list when I read tarot. "When will a special person arrive?", is a question often asked. Most questions I receive through tarot or when I was writing human interest stories as a journalist came from a place where great lack was felt. There’s an urge to connect with others, yet there is also the urge to shut the world out. Very contradictory, which are in fact the signals that are then being broadcasted:  “Please come in, I feel lonely. No, not you, go away.”

Ignoring and being ignored 

My friend was telling me yesterday that he was on an airplane and got hugely annoyed by the fact that people were trying to talk to him along the flight. How dare they! He wanted to be there on his own, in his own world and quite possibly live out the illusion we are alone in life. After all, you are born alone and will die alone, right? Can’t argue with that. But is it true? 

What he described  reminded me of the experience I have when I go running in a nearby place. I live in the city and city-life quite often is about ignoring others. So, when I go there and I look around in nature, I see most people go there to be alone and to be in nature to reconnect. Yet the woods are crawling with people. But it’s like those horses you put on eye pads. They will not be able to see what else is going around or actually it is chosen to be ignored. So they just run stoically away, either convinced they are alone in the forest and there is no connection with others. Yet on the other hand greatly longing for a connection with people.

Wanting love and being loved 
Often, before I go for a run, I speak to so many people who ask me about love. Why has my soulmate not entered my life yet, why do I feel so alone, will I be alone for the rest of my life? But the reality of it is that you are never alone (or not as you live like me in the city and/or The Netherlands ;) ). There are people everywhere. Did you ever stop and just connected to your surroundings? There’s life everywhere. In your neighbours houses, on the street, the freeway, but also in the forest and if not people, the whole universe is breathing – flowers growing – ants carrying food homewards – a spider weaving his web. So you see, you are not alone at all. But starting to recognise that first and experience that, will help you open up to finding that special someone. However when you come from a place where you constantly try hard to keep people out of your life, it is very difficult to draw someone into your life.

If you wonder how this works for me: I have been living alone for quite some time, traveled alone, went on assignments abroad on my own and I basically love that. I love people and connecting and loving them, but I also love my own company and am very content with that. I just wrote that down, so you know where I am coming from and it's truly something I feel and experience like that. Not something I read in a book somewhere ;)

So if you are alone or feel alone, know it is possible to embrace your own company, love and sustain yourself which will make it safe to let others in. They will not join you from a place of ‘need’ or ‘lack’, but from a place of wanting to share, trust and feeling part of all. You matter, as do the others. 

If you experience feeling lonely, please study the card The Wheel of Fortune– it is turning, we all our connected, inside that wheel. There is no way you are not part of this wheel. It’s either creating a downward spiral, or an upward one. Which way do you want to go? Sending you love and thank you for connecting with me through reading what I wrote. 

Coming up next: helping manifest your soulmate.

I would love to hear your thoughts, feelings and experiences.
Blessed Be!