Fear while changing your life: 8 tips on dealing with it

I'm sure that there are people out there with nerves of steel, making changes like they are cooking up their breakfast. But generally when you are really getting out of your comfort zone it will give you anxiety for a while.

Leaving your comfort zone. What to expect and how to deal with it. 

1. So, you made up your mind and chose to take an action that truly transforms your life. Yay you! And then all of a sudden all your nerves are instantly tensed. You feel like you are in a sudden crash and disaster is lurking at every corner. First realize that this feeling normal. This does happen when you are walking unknown paths. Don't try to suppress it but let it come up completely. Let it become as big as it has to be with all your worse case scenarios. Just let it out.

2. This is of course VERY uncomfortable. It general is a feeling that stays with you for a few days (on and of) and can 'hit you' sometimes a full day. If it's too much just be kind to yourself and remember that it's new and you will adjust to it.

3. Sometimes you can choose to pop a herbal pill, like Avena Sativa or a magnesium supplement.

4. Tapping (EFT) is a great way to work through fears. There are many videos on how to do that on you tube. It basically "rewires" the energy in your body and it uses acupressure points. If you are stressed now, notice how stroking or softly tapping on the top of your head instantly helps you calm down.

5. Continue business as usual. Really, don't get too much into this feeling, but try to stay firmly on track.

6. Planning helps, especially if you are a planning king or queen, but also know you can't plan every detail. Affirmation: I release the need to control.

7. If you are in the pre-stage of making changes it can help to do activities that are way out of your comfort-zone (I once spend two days on a wooden raft in the middle of nowhere, alone, for a spiritual magazine article on comfort zones & silence. Although it became a fun article, there are easier and more comfortable ways of getting iin touch with yourself)

8. Yay! How great is it you are taking these steps!! Remind yourself that in each moment you can choose to work with changes. You are in charge of your life. You are capable!

Personal development: Free yourself from other people's convictions and self-defeating thoughts with the eight of swords

This is the card that prevent us to take action in our lives. This is where we belief we are stuck in a position for sure and we will never get out of there. The swords represent the self-defeating thoughts we can have about ourselves and also what OTHERS have said about us & we started taking what they said as it being The Truth. That's why we feel we cannot 'walk away' from this position within the swords. These thoughts about ourselves keep us ‘small’ and put us ‘in a corner’.

It’s not a good place of course, because we truly belief we cannot get out of this. The reality is though, that we are kept here through (believed and/or litera)) judgements by others and ourselves and we actually started acting within that belief system.  So all actions, thoughts about ourselves and the future come from these (false!) definitions about who we are.

It's not The Truth
The swords in this card can relate to groups of people you belong too (or belonged to in the past) and their community and society and what they have said to you. If you are out of the box and grew up in a tiny, rural community, they would have said not to be silly or perhaps judged you over your ideas. Everything that’s not ‘common’ about you (in comparison to their world!), people would have commented on.For example: thoughts like this can relate to something negative a teacher or a parent once said to you and you started believing it and actually living out that truth. Sometimes it probably wasn't even meant the way you took it. But it became internalised, making it very real to you and your feelings and even the actions taken.
 
It's also your inner critic who made you comment on yourself. The place where insecurities & fears come from, but always in comparison to others. Making you belief that you are ‘weird’, ‘silly’, ‘not pretty’, ‘stupid’, and just fill in any self-defeating beliefs someone may have. In the eight of swords the mind becomes very limiting.

But is all it whispers actually true? Often when actively looked at those convictions, most can be disregarded. What a relief! 

A good place to start with that is asking questions like: "WHO were the people that told you this about yourself?" What groups do they belong to? What is their background? What is their belief system? Do their opinions really matter to you? Are they an example? Do they in fact have the same belief systems and set of ethics as you do? Or would they easily throw puppy's of bridges, while you are the greatest animal lover? Do you admire how they live their life? Or are they perhaps a bit narrow-minded in their views of the world?

Please do not live your life by what others have told you about yourself or what ‘society’ says is correct. Unless you choose that for yourself. But if you are stuck in this eight of swords position, please find your courage & walk away from their words and thoughts and honestly look at all limiting thoughts you may have told yourself. After all it’s just a matter of perception. Not truth. Remove that blind fold & feel how a world of exciting possibilities opens up to you. Suddenly you are not 'akward', but you are 'an artist with cutting edge ideas' or a 'reformer' or perhaps a 'great theatrical performer' or somepone who's is not 'slow', but actually great with details! 


Free guided meditation
If you want some help with switching your perception, then please send me an e-mail and you will receive a FREE guided audio meditation with the Eight of Swords Card. It will help you empowering yourself, release negative thoughts about yourself and connect with your talents and qualities.
If you would like more guiding: the healing heart meditations are insightful & come with personalized actions you can take to reform your life.